Things I’m Happy About Today

I woke up this morning feeling anxious and chubby. This is a lethal combination, or a perfect storm as Tyson would call it. Even though I woke up hours before church started, none of my clothes were cooperating, and I ended up going to church wearing a staticky dress that I had to pull down every three steps.

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The dress. Note: This is not me. I am not an Old Navy model, and would never pose like this for a picture.

This made for a bad mood I couldn’t seem to shake. In an attempt to shake said bad mood, I started counting my blessings, as the song goes. Here’s what I’m happy about today:

  • After years of deliberation and soul-searching, I bought my first pair of jeggings yesterday. They go with everything and look like dress pants. They’re now staring at me from their spot in the closet, promising fun and hope in all their gray glory.
  • We made a cheesy potato casserole this morning that’s rocking my world. Recipe here. (We used half the onion it calls for and added bacon and cheese on top.) #lifestyleblog
  • I finally discovered the cause of that nasty smell coming from our bathroom. It’s a plant, not black mold like I originally thought.
  • I downloaded Mindy Kaling’s new book, Why Not Me? over the weekend, and it’s given me a renewed positivity towards life. She’s hilarious and confident, and I want her to be my friend. If she can do anything, maybe I can too.
  • I had an epiphany about our couples costume yesterday. The only other hard Halloween decision we still have to make is what type of candy we’ll buy in bulk to hand out to all the kids who come trick or treating in Aggie Village. (All none of them, we haven’t had a trick or treater come by since we’ve lived here. More for us!)
  • I refuse to be the kind of person who lets one dress ruin their day!

25 – a state of the me address

Wife, Writer, Worrier – working title for my memoir

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memoir cover reject

I started my 25th year much like my 24th, sick in bed and feeling sorry for myself. 25 sounded so old, and I thought I’d have more done by now. Mostly, I thought I’d be able to add the title “mother” to my list. As the 29th rolled closer and closer and my womb felt emptier and emptier, I started to question my choices, my direction, and even my identity. Who even am I? A list-maker by birth, I thought I would start with three things:

I’m a wife.
I never thought I’d take so much pride in that title, but I do. I’m really proud of the marriage I’ve built with Tyson. Even though I often feel like I fall short in this area (thanks a lot, Pinterest), I’ve learned that there’s more to taking care of a person than feeding them. Being a wife is a hard but fulfilling calling, and it’s not one I take lightly. Of all the titles I’ve held so far, this has been my favorite one.

I’m a writer.
I think “word-lover” is more accurate, but “writer” is a little more poetic. I have loved words for as long as I can remember. The first time I ever got in trouble in school was in fifth grade, when I was caught reading a Baby-Sitters Club book while the teacher was doing a math problem on the board. Being well-read has made me feel like I’m well-travelled, even though I’m not, and there’s only a few things I’d rather be doing instead of reading.

Writing is the way I connect with the world, and reading is the way I feel like it connects with me. Nothing brightens my day like feeling something I read was written just for me. I know that God is a concerned father, and I can imagine Him inspiring someone to write something as He thinks, “Brenda’s going to love this.” And I do. I hope my words are one day that inspired.

I’m a worrier.
Don’t ever ask me, “What’s the worst that could happen?” I won’t be able to recover for weeks. I can worry myself into a panic about pretty much anything. Worry has taken so many hours from me without ever being worth it. It’s one of my least favorite things about myself, and one I hope to remedy at some point.

Overcoming worry will be a major theme in my upcoming memoir. Look for it at all major book retailers beginning August 2040, just in time for my 50th birthday. I hope to know more and be more by then. Also, I hope to have done something about my posture by then. I need to get that under control.