It all happened so fast. One day, I was bragging about not getting a flu shot. The next day, I was feverish and nauseous. After spending way too much time checking my symptoms on Web MD, I was convinced I was dying.

By the time I went to the doctor, even the words, “You may have a touch of influenza. We’re going to insert this [medieval torture device] into your nasal cavity,” were so much better than what I was expecting.

After the doctor left to get my test results, I slid off the seat with crinkly paper, and googled, “Is influenza the same thing as the flu?” (It is, but one sounds way more threatening than the other.) I then curled up on a chair and tried to take a nap, not even caring about how pathetic I looked.

Even though Tyson is the most diligent caretaker and makes a mean vegetable soup, I wouldn’t ever want to repeat January 2015. Guess who’ll be the first person in line for a flu shot next year!

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Also, does anyone know how to block WebMD from their phone? Asking for a friend…