I’ve been thinking about a testimony that was shared a few weeks ago regarding 1 Nephi 17:46. It reads: “And ye also know that by the power of his almighty word he can cause the earth that it shall pass away; yea, and ye know that by his word he can cause the rough places to be made smooth…”
I’ve read 1 Nephi a lot, more than I’ve read any other book in the Book of Mormon, yet I’d never though of this verse referring to anything other than geography. But it applies to me too. He can cause my rough places to be made smooth – my anxiety, my fears, my insecurities. If mountains can be smoothed out, then my rough places should be no problem.
Tonight, as I was driving Tyson to a work meeting and stressing about an upcoming social commitment, Tyson told me, “You know who else had social anxiety? Moses. And you know what God told him? He said, ‘I got this.'” I don’t think that’s how the scripture goes exactly, and I’m not leading the children of Israel out of captivity, but I think the principle still applies: I am in His hands. So are you.
Ever since Tyson told me that he’d have to work two Saturdays in January, I declared those two Saturdays my writing days. I would wake up bright and early, kiss my husband goodbye as I dropped him off at work, drive to my neighborhood Starbucks to get myself a soy hot chocolate and befriend someone who would be tasked with watching my laptop whenever I went to the bathroom, and then I would proceed to write the great American novel, all while listening to Katy Perry.
Instead, I woke up late (for a weekday, but pretty early for a Saturday), drove Tyson to work, and drove straight home, where a blank page mocked me and drove me to the Internet, where I proceeded to lose the next few hours. Time flies by when you’re wasting time, right?
When I was in college, I complained about writer’s block. I complained about it from the second I got my assignment to the night before. A few hours before a deadline, inspiration would strike, and I would write and write. I once even wrote a paper in the car on my way to class.
I miss being that person. I even miss deadlines.
Sometimes I think writers write more about writer’s block than they do about pretty much anything else.
As I’ve mentioned a million times before, our apartment is kind of small. So small, in fact, that even some Christmas decorations were making it look extra cluttered. We finally packed them all away yesterday, and it was nowhere as exciting as when we put everything up.
I always notice a shift in my mood once Christmas is over– it’s like winter goes back to just being cold and gloomy. Yesterday, Tyson and I fought the post-Christmas gloom by sleeping in, buying some cheese (for him) and white-out (for me), perusing Valentine’s Day decorations at Michael’s, and then going out to dinner at our favorite Chinese food place. We took this picture where my chin was cut off and the lighting was meh:
Even though yesterday was more ordinary than not, one of my goals for this year is to document everything. I want to remember the light rain that made me glad I hadn’t straightened my hair, how Tyson and I sat at the same booth during dinner because we’re one of those couples, and how the fortune cookies we got at the end of our meal sounded a little judgmental.
I want to to look back at 2014 and be able to have an accurate depiction of who Tyson was, who I was, and what our marriage was like. Even if we can’t take a decent selfie to save our lives.
If 2012 was a year for changes, then 2013 was the year we settled into them. Life started making sense again, and I was convinced that it couldn’t get any better. Then I got sick… Remember that cold I mentioned last time? It turned out I had bronchitis. It wasn’t life-threatening or anything, but it left me feeling miserable for weeks and craving a new beginning. I was convinced that once the new year started, I would be as good as new. Now that we’re a few days into the new year, I’m happy to report that I’m starting to feel normal again.
Tyson and I spent New Year’s Eve with my brother and his wife in Temple Square. It was cold, but really fun, and I felt like a cool kid because we didn’t get home until after midnight. It took my body a few days to recover after being out so late, but you know…
If New Year’s Eve is any indication of what the rest of the year will look like, then I think 2014 will be one for the books. Bring it on, 2014!