As I type this, Tyson is napping on the futon and I am trying to be quiet. Of course that’s when I end up being the loudest, dropping my phone here, knocking over a chair there. I instantly look over to see if Tyson is still asleep. He is.
I am now just realizing that we never had dinner today. We had lunch when we got home from church, made some funfetti cookies around 4 and haven’t eaten since. Whenever something like this happens, which is more often than I like to admit, I say to myself, “This means I’ve just started this new diet where I don’t eat past 7 pm because it’s bad for my metabolism.. or something.” I’m okay for a few hours, but come 10 pm, I am starving. I don’t just need a snack, I need real food, and I need it now! Then I eat the world because what else are you supposed to do when you haven’t eaten for hours? I have a feeling I might get to that point earlier than 10 pm today.
(white cake mix + sprinkles = funfetti!)
After eating those funfetti cookies, Tyson fell into a bit of a sugar coma and took a nap on me. My phone was at 29% battery or something dangerously low, so I didn’t dare play Candy Crush. I tried to nap, but it was too warm, so I decided to just lay there, being Tyson’s pillow. After about an hour of thinking deep thoughts, like how I should ombre my hair again, I had to go to the bathroom, so I shifted, slid, and was finally able to lay Tyson on the futon without waking him up. After I came back from the bathroom, I realized that there was now no room for me on the futon, so I migrated to the kitchen, where my laptop was calling to me. I wanted to go on Pinterest, but something within me said, “Write. You’re going to want to remember this.”
I sighed after having this thought. My life has been feeling hard lately, and I thought, which part of this am I going to want to remember? It’s hard to think of a time when our life will not be what it is now, but I know that that time will come. There are years to age, degrees to receive, miles to travel, babies to have. And here I am, sitting on the very edge of it, thinking, when will my life ever change? Time will pass and my life will change, just like it always has. And I will find myself yearning for the past, just like I always do. So here’s what I want to remember from this time in our lives:
I want to remember the little Chinese food place that we frequent and the look the waiters give me when I ask for lemon to put on my fried rice. I want to remember overhearing Tyson set up hometeaching appointments because it’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard. I want to remember waking up in the middle of the night and sliding up closer to Tyson so I can feel safe and protected. I want to remember how glorious Saturday mornings feel when you wake up at 10 am and realize that you have nowhere to go and nothing to do, and that means that you can go anywhere and do anything. Mostly, I want to remember that there was a time when it felt like all we had was each other, faith in the future, and some terribly big dreams. And that was enough.
Tyson just woke up for about twenty seconds, looked around really confused, and then went back to sleep. His nap might have just turned into sleeping through the night. Until I figure out what a good dinner for one would be, another funfetti cookie won’t hurt, right?