If you must know, I haven’t always known that we would be together forever. We met in the spring, and I thought nothing of it. By the beginning of fall, I knew that I wanted to get to know him better. Before the beginning of winter, I knew that I wanted to marry him. We were married a few days before the beginning of spring, a beginning on the anniversary of our first beginning.
Looking back, I wish that I had written everything down– every word he said that made me fall in love with him, every feeling that shocked me by how familiar it was. Falling in love with him was like seeing a line from my favorite song written in chalk on the sidewalk– unexpected but strangely beautiful and completely my own, even though I really had nothing to do with it. It was like coming home to clean sheets after a long day. Is there a way to not sound like a fourteen year old girl when explaining how falling in love feels? I guess I never thought to write it down because I was too busy enjoying it, breathing every moment in, thinking that I could never forget any detail of something that made me feel so alive.
We have been married for three months now, and most nights, I go to bed wondering how I got so lucky. I replay a few of my favorite memories, the ones that I hope make it on to the montage that one supposedly sees before they die:
The blue-eyed boy that I first saw at church that spring day when I had glitter on my hands and too many questions on my mind.
The night he told me that he liked me outside of my apartment as he hugged me like he was sending me off to war.
The day I sat next to him and listened to him as he bore his testimony, realizing that I wanted to love him forever, and that if he asked me to marry him, I would have to say yes.
The night he did ask, and I did say yes.
And finally, that same boy, kneeling across from me in the most sacred place, as we made promises to each other and to our God, the God who we feel has been so intimately concerned with our union.
If you must know, I haven’t always known that we would be together forever. I had no way of knowing that the blue-eyed boy that I had met in church on that spring day would one day be my blue-eyed boy. But on that spring day, in that sacred place, I knew. I knew that we would be together forever.
For time and all eternity. With true love, there is no other way.